Tuesday, August 29, 2006

i have no time for titles

Well, clearly I don’t make a good mommy blogger. Which is fine, but for how my identity has been completely consumed by this mommy-gig. And not necessarily in a bad way. It is tiring at times, snd intense, to be the sole source of food - and hence, everything - for two people. And yet totally wonderful. And apparently I’m not the only one. But I feel like I am breastfeeding with every cell in my body.

When, oh when, will I stop with the bleeding? It’s not a lot, just enough that I’m forced to wear pads all the time. Even though I don’t bleed all the time, and when I do it’s not much. But pads suck, and I’m tired of having plastic wedged between my legs.

Which makes me pity the babies, who have diapers on almost all of the time. And Miss M is so tiny (though she’s getting bigger every day!) that it seems like there’s just an overwhelming amount of diaper between her legs.* On the other hand, B-Boy has outgrown the newborn diapers and we’ve had to move him to size 1. Doesn’t sound like much, but he went from 6lb 13oz at birth to 9lb 4 or 5 oz (he was last weighed wearing clothes, so we’re guessing) in under 4 weeks. Including losing and then regaining his birthweight. And now he has fabulously pudgy baby thighs. Not to be left behind, Miss M seems to have grown chubbier cheeks and thighs somewhat overnight.

* Of course, the bulk is even worse in the cloth diapers, which we’re trying out now. I expected cloth diaper butts, but these really are bulky. And a pain in the ass so far, what with the different sizes and different folds and adding the flushable liners the diaper service requires -- it’s just a lot of layers to keep together, and hard to prep and keep handy. So we’re looking into pocket diapers or all-in-ones to see if that’ll be easier at all. Here’s hoping.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

green poo and baby goo

(or, “oh shit I’m a mommy blogger”)

It’s been too long since I’ve had annoying medical staff to blog about.

We took Miss M & B-Boy to the pediatric clinic yesterday because B has a snuffly nose and M has green poo and weird eye gunk. None of which were of particular concern, but we’re crazy nervous first time parents, or something. (Actually, I called the triage nurse who concurred that we were already doing everything we were supposed to be doing, but that we might as well come in to be sure it wasn’t something more. The triage nurse was not the annoying medical staff - she was very nice and reassuring and exactly what you’d want her to be, especially if we’d been more frantic about whatever we were calling about.)

Our pediatrician, whom we love so far - let’s call her Dr. Sweetie - didn’t have any more slots last night or this morning, so we got an appointment with another doctor in the group for last night. Now, I love that we can do that, but I won’t be taking my kids to see this doc again, ever, if I can help it. We’ll call him Dr. Dismissive. Dr.D said about what I’d expected (it’s normal, nothing else to be done, chill out) except without any of the reassuring features that should have been included. He looked in B’s ears, but not his nose. He listened to my description of M’s eyes, but didn’t even look at them. Even though she was lying right there on the exam table.

Of course, I’m glad to hear confirmation that everything is okay, though I wish more could be done to help my snuffly boy breathe better at night (we’ve tried bringing him into the bathroom during showers to breathe the steam, and saline drops and the suction bulb thingy, which he hates, and keeping him upright as much as possible, and putting him to sleep on a slight incline - any other ideas?). But some doctors just seem like they’re in the wrong specialty. I mean, this guy didn’t have any of the features I’d expect in a pediatrician - like, for example, an interest in children.

(This reminds me of the ob/gyn resident I kept encountering in the hospital who had no bedside manner, compassion, or interest in women or children’s health - she’d probably make a good surgeon, just not if she has to talk to the patients before or after. But whatever.)

More to come.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

attempting the birthstory

I’ve been trying to write up the complete birthstory, since it seemed like it should be the next post, and I am having the hardest time of it. Here’s the short version:

Tuesday - sent to L&D for pre-eclampsia evaluation. Sceduled for c-sec the following AM, and kept overnight. Wednesday - Am 2nd c-sec of the AM. Also, am contracting strongly and regularly. Body clearly done with being pregnant. C-sec initially uneventful. Have fantastic doula to get me through spinal and other weirdnesses. J in smurf suit. Beautiful babies with apgars of 9/9 and 8/9. As we roll to recovery, I tell someone to take the baby I am holding before I pass out. Rest is fuzzy, but involves BP drop to 60/30, major hemmoraghing, several attempts at IV insertion and an arterial line, and 4 units of blood. Also involves babies being taken to NICU - one with breathing difficulties and the other just to clear the room. Still involves fantastic doula who stays at my head through the chaos. Finally better when room begins to clear of medical staff. Baby A is returned to the room. B is in NICU for 3 days on CPAP, with attempts at tenting and just oxygen. I don’t see him until Thursday afternoon - clearly the worst part of all. Babies are unnamed until I am able to meet B. Longest drug-hazed day, ever. And that’s the short version.

Home for a couple of weeks now. Babies have grown and changed tremendously. Am scared I will miss it all in the fog of sleeplessness.

Sometimes I think how much easier it must be to have one at a time, and then I look down at the two of them nursing (fairly well, all things considered) and I can’t imagine it any other way.