Two heads...

...are definitely better than one.

And we're home. All of us. Together.




Overwhelmed would be an understatement.
So would tired.
And enraptured.


Details to follow.

Update #2

J again. Cass is spending the night in the hospital for blood pressure monitoring in preparation for our 8am scheduled c-section tomorrow morning. Stay tuned to Bugs for updates during the 4-day hospital recovery period.

Update

J. here. Cass is waiting for some labs, then we're off to L&D for more testing. We're at 37 weeks today (or tomorrow, depending on who's counting), so it's a strong possibility that today is the day. Or that they'll send us home and have us come back next week. Bugs will try to keep everybody posted in case there's news.

All quiet on the baby front, or no news is no news

A long time ago, in my first job out of college, I knew a woman pregnant with IVF twins - the first I’d knowingly encountered. The initial encounter was indicative of my well-intentioned but inexperienced younger self - I asked her if she was pregnant (since she looked it) when she was probably no more than 8 weeks along. She was gracious about it, telling me yes, but not very far along, and that she looked more pregnant than she was because of the medications. Later, when she had been on leave for a while, she came back into the office to take care of some loose ends, and I noted to myself (though not to her!) that she was, by far, the largest pregnant woman I had ever seen. Ever. And now that’s me.

I’m 36 weeks today, or tomorrow, depending on who does the counting. Baby A has flipped back to a head-up position, which explains all the kicking I’ve been feeling down below. BP is holding steady. I don’t seem to be spilling protein, though he had the lab run a full urine culture rather than just the normal office dip - not sure what was up with that. We also did our regular NST. Baby A was more cooperative than usual about getting on the monitor, at least for a while, but I think that was because it was naptime. So we were still there for ages trying to keep the baby on the monitor through accelerations. And then I had to schedule next week’s NSTs, and an appointment with Dr. Academic in 2 weeks. Yes, 2 weeks. Apparently, unless I start to develop pre-eclampsia or something comes up in the NSTs (or if I go into labor all on my own) he’s going to hold off on scheduling a c-section until 38.5 weeks. That would be well into August. That would be insane. So for now we’re just playing a waiting game, and every time we go out in public I realize that someone is thinking, “wow, that is the largest pregnant woman I have ever seen.”

in the middle of the night...

As uncomfortable as I am, with the heat and the hugeness and the itching, I’m going to miss this. Right now I have them all to myself - and I know I’m doing what I need to take care of them. And every kick and squirm and weird undulation is reassurance that things are fine in there. I like that J can feel them too, but I love lying in bed and feeling them inside of me. For now, I am everything to them, and I am doing well for them.

At other times, I think how much I’m looking forward to bringing them out into the world. How I’d like to let someone else hold them and care for them even for a few minutes. I know that they are mine - ours - and that is something I am looking forward to with all my heart. We talk to them, now, telling them about the world, and how we’re looking forward to sharing it with them, and sharing ourselves with them.

I can no longer watch the news. Not that I have for some time, but I look at the world, and I wonder if it’s really good to bring children into this place where people fight, and destroy each other, and destroy the planet. My hope is that in some small way, my children might contribute to fixing the broken world we are bringing them into. I don’t expect them to broker world peace, universal understanding, an end to global warming. But if more people smile, or laugh, or are inspired, perhaps that is how change will happen.

For now, I curl on my side, cradled by my many pillows, next to their sleeping, snoring father, and feel the hope and promise wiggling and squirming inside. I can’t wait to meet them, and yet I want to savor this just a bit longer.

35 weeks and hanging on

I have nothing major to report, which is, at this point, something fairly major. I am still huge (though I seem to have lost a few pounds in the past couple of weeks) and still itchy (the PUPPPs has spread to arms and legs - oh joy) and still pregnant. Babies are doing fine. We watched them through a couple of contractions on the NST monitors, and they tolerated them well. And of course, it was good to see Dr. Academic, who confirmed that based on positions we’re looking at a c-section, which will either be when I start to develop pre-eclampsia (my BP is creeping up, so they’re watching carefully) or when the babes decide it's time. So, unless the labs he ran today suggest something to the contrary, we’re just on a BP watch for the most part. He’s going to be out of town during my 37th week, so I’m rather hoping that we end up doing this next week, though he did say if they continue to be stable and my BP stays steady we could hold off for a while yet. I’m not so sure about that, though of course I want them inside as long as possible. But damn, I’m huge. And itchy. And it’s hard to think about being even more huge and itchy in the coming weeks, since delivering these babies is the only solution to both discomforts. But then I think - this is the least I can do for them. And I shift positions and rub on yet another anti-itch lotion and hang on a bit longer.

Minivan Mama?

34 week update: As expected, they had trouble getting Baby A on the monitor again at the NST today (making the whole experience a bit more stressful - and really uncomfortable - at least for me). Thankfully, once the nurse got a good position (and stood there the whole time holding the monitor in place) the babies were cooperative and looked good. My BP was up just a hair and apparently I have traces of protein in my urine, but they’re not worried yet. So today’s status - so far, so good, and holding steady. Yay.

My in-laws were here for a few days this weekend (a spur-of-the moment trip to help get things in order before the babies). J and his dad and brother got a lot done around the house (only some of it baby-related), though now we have to finish cleaning up from all of their projects. And MIL was quite happy to be sent on an errand to get a couple of things from BRU, and went a bit overboard as I expected. It made her happy, and we have a bit more stuff now, so it was a good deal all around. But having that many people in the house? Tiring. And I wasn’t doing any of the work.

One of the tasks that was accomplished over the weekend was installing the car seats in my car (since mine has those LATCH anchor things). They got them installed without too much fuss (or at least, I didn’t have to see what fuss there might have been) but we’ve now realized that my car is really not big enough for twins. The car that I bought 5 years ago and just finished paying off. The car that I chose partially because I thought it would be a good, safe, comfortable choice for our first kid. Serves me right for being so presumptuous.

I did think, even back then, that I’d need a bigger car by the time hypothetical child number two came along, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised now to see how tight it is with two carseats. But still. So this afternoon we went to a couple of car places to look at, um, minivans. Yeah, minivans. Because we could get a car big enough for both carseats, but there still wouldn’t be a place for another adult to sit. And while we don’t often drive around with extra adults, there are all of these grandparents who will be visiting... So, we’re looking at minivans. Yipes. Not that we can buy anything yet, since I can’t tell how I’ll fit behind the wheel (since right now I just don’t fit at all). But we figured we should take advantage of the kid-free time (what little we have left) and start the search. (The first car salesman seemed fascinated by the concept of twins, and even moreso by the size and appearance of my twin-carrying body. And commented on it several times. Really endearing. If we buy from them, he won’t get the sale.)