Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Hi! Welcome to Pregnancy

I told a colleague I was pregnant today, to explain why I’ve been, well, how I’ve been - a little bit fuzzy and incredibly tired. Lo and behold, she’s pregnant, too, and about as far along as I am (though she doesn’t know for sure). It was nice to share a little bit, but mostly I felt like our experiences were so incredibly different that we were talking about different things. They were trying for a month (granted, they didn’t expect to conceive that fast - they knew it might take some time and figured they’d get started now). She doesn’t know her due date yet. She hasn’t yet seen an OB/midwife (her first appointment is in a a week or two, which if she’s due when she thinks she is will put it at late in her 11th week, if not into her 12th). She’s not sure if she’ll get an ultrasound at that appointment (though she wants one just to be sure everything is as it should be). She doesn’t intimately know what a transvag ultrasound is, let alone that it can be used to see the heartbeat before it can be heard on the doppler. She’s already told a couple of people, including some friends, and her boss. Her husband told his boss, too. It’s all just so weird to me. See what I mean about normal pregnant women? It’s a completely different world for them.

On the positive side, I didn’t greet this news with quite the same pang of intense jealousy as I would have in the past. It helped a bit to be the knowledgable one, slightly further along (at least in my head) and more experienced. It wasn’t easy, exactly, but it didn’t sting as much as it would have before. It was one of those moments where I really thought I was pregnant.

I took that feeling and ran with it, all the way to the maternity clothing store. I have that one pair of jeans, but I only had a couple of shirts that sorta kinda covered the waistband, and I thought maybe it was time. The store was even more surreal. There were three women working there, and two looked like they were in high school. Not that high school women don’t get pregnant sometimes, but these women clearly didn’t have any firsthand knowledge. It was just weird. Also weird was the couple that came in looking for a gift or something? I mean, it wasn’t for her, and it wasn’t for him, so I guess it was for someone else. Hopefully someone actually pregnant, since this woman was like 12 (okay, probably 19) and a size 2. And she kept exclaiming over how cute the clothes were. Geez, either go get pregnant so you can buy them, or go away, please. The last nutty thing was that everytime anyone walked into the store, the staff would greet them with, “Hi! Welcome to Motherhood.” I’m not ready to be welcomed to motherhood just yet. I’m still getting settled in pregnancy.

P.S. to Kell - I can’t find your email address anywhere, but if you email me I’d be happy to share what I know about SoCal clinics. My email address is on the ‘about’ page.

11 comments:

  1. It's all just too surreal, isn't it? Glad it's starting to sink in for you, bit by bit.

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  2. Yes, if I entered a store and was greeted with "Hi, Welcome to Motherhood," I am certain I would drop my handbag in shock.
    I am so glad you were able to talk to your colleague without feeling jealous. I don't know that I could have, as I am made insane by women who get to have blithe, innocent pregnancies. You are a better woman than I, Cass.
    Oh, and Welcome to Pregnancy!

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  3. Just some maternity clothing advice: make sure you tell them that your name/address/pregnancy info is NOT FOR SALE! They enter that stuff into a database and you will get all sorts of crap in the mail.

    You didn't mention if you tried on anything. If you did, what did you think of the fake tummy bumps?

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  4. I've had one pregnancy announcement, but I have to admit, it hurt just as much as it would have a few months ago.

    I've only bought one pair of jeans. My mother bought me some tops but they are ridiculously big. I'm in need of some giant underwear though, so I might be making that trip soon.

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  5. Too funny about the clueless colleague! I always feel so strange about having these extra stores of knowledge, afraid that I might blurt out things that will mark me as a weirdo.

    Good for you for trekking into the store--a major milestone!

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  6. Can you imagine not even going to the doctor until you're eleven or twelve weeks along? Crazy. I can't even get my brain around that one. Oh, to be so innocent and undamaged from infertility, right?

    You're brave to tackle the maternity store. I'm walking around with the top button of my jeans unbuttoned, but I can't quite fathom actually buying maternity clothing just yet.

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  7. Thanks for the tip, DD. I did actually buy a couple of shirts, and I kept asking why they needed the info and repeating that I did NOT want to get anything in the mail. If they *do* sell my info, I'll definitely complain (though I'm sure by that point it will be too late). But it's so annoying that they wouldn't just say that - yes, we'd like this information so we and our many friends can send you fabulous offers! I still would have refused, but her unwillingness to admit that's why they wanted the info was just weird.

    And the tummy bumps? Very very weird. Though I admit to sticking one under my shirt to see if it would still fit when I was bigger. But I couldn't really look at myself with it on - too creepy.

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  8. You managed to brave a store? How exciting!

    Hoping the rest of the "normal" milestones of pregnancy become more commonplace, and happier for you as the time goes on.

    You deserve that, after all you've been through.

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  9. Clothing stores ask every customer their address? Or just the ones that want a loyalty card.

    Selling personal data for direct marketing without explicit consent is illegal here. And I'm glad it is, I hate junk mail.

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  10. Didn't they try to sell you on cordblood banking? I thought I was going to have to offer up my unborn baby just to get out of there - I hate maternity stores! I am buying at the gap only. So far, all I use is the belly band, which I love.

    And yeah, women who haven't visited a dr and are that far along?!? I don't even know how to file that information away in my brain.

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  11. A very wierd place to be Cass, mentally and physically. They don't seem to worry nearly enough!

    And I admire you in that store. So far all my maternity clothes are gifts or hand me downs, I'm yet to brave that lion.

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