One of mom’s fish was looking pretty sick - he has something called “bloat” that makes him float upside down in the most pathetic way. He was pretty touch-and-go there for a while, and Mom thought about flushing him to put him out of his misery, but the fish store people said he’d recover. So now that he’s feeling better I thought maybe she should finally name him.
Mom: What’s a name that means newly healthy, or risen from the dead?
[pause - we look at each other, start to giggle]
Both: Jesus [giggle giggle snort - trying to be quiet, because J is asleep on the couch]
Mom: I can’t call him Jesus, maybe Jesus (Spanish pronunciation)
Me: You could call him “Hey” for short.
Mom: What if he dies next week?
Me: Well, then you’ll have to hope he returns in March.
Mom: You’re so weird. Who raised you, anyway?