Thursday, November 24, 2005

Gratitude

Out of 20 retrieved, there were 15 mature, and 14 fertilized. We’re set for a 5-day transfer on Monday. I’m feeling better, though still a bit achy and bloated. Mostly, though, I’m just feeling incredibly thankful that we’ve made it this far.

Yesterday, when they came to take J back to contribute his part in all this, I was still pretty drugged and emotional. I said, “it’s not fair” which he took to mean it wasn’t fair that I was lying in a recovery room and he was going to jerk off. But really I meant it wasn’t fair that we had to do this at all when so many other people just get drunk one night and magically become pregnant. But when the embryologist called today I felt a huge wave of gratitude - that we were able to do IVF, that J’s parents were able to help us pay for it, that we had access to fertility clinics in our city, and schedules flexible enough to allow us to go through with it, and that we might actually have something to show for it. Every so often we look at each other, or hold hands for a moment, and whisper “fourteen.” It’s the magic number of hope, promise, potential. And I am incredibly thankful to have that to hold onto today.

13 comments:

  1. Congratulations on your 14! That's fantastic.

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  2. Oh, Cass! 14 is fantastic!!! And a five-day transfer... how fancy! I'm just so happy for you that things are going so well.

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  3. Oh gosh, Cass, that's such a great number. I'm so glad to hear it. I'll keep my fingers crossed that things continue to go well for you. Good luck on Monday!

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  4. Your 14 kick my 6's asses. Congratulations, and may the transfer be hugely successful.

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  5. Cass that's fantastic. So pleased for you - I hope all 14 keep going so you have something to freeze!

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  6. I am so happy for you that I could cry. 14 is fantastic; and that fertilization rate bodes extremely well. I will be picturing lots of dividing and dividing and dividing.

    Much love to you and J.,

    Bugs

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  7. 14 is a great #! I hope everything goes well for you Monday.

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  8. That's tremendous news, Cass!!! Job well done and I'm rooting for you, non-stop!

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  9. Hey, that's great! 14, wow! I'm happy for you guys, hope transfer is smooth and easy and the 2WW goes by quickly with some nice high beta numbers at the end! Thinking of you, best of luck.

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  10. That's amazing! Hope you hit the jackpot with the first transfer.

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  11. 14 is great :) Good luck on Monday.

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  12. Those are great #'s!!! Good luck on Monday :)

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  13. Hoping hoping hoping....

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