The lines on my new best friend, FRED, were darker today than yesterday. Still fidgeting anxiously until Friday’s beta. This afternoon, I was so numbingly tired I cried. And I’ve been really hungry. But mostly just tired. Oh so tired. I could just sleep from now until the beta.
On the plus side, I think, I watched an entire commercial filled with babies, and instead of feeling bitter, I felt hopeful. And during one of those “talk to your kids about drugs” commercials, I thought - hmm, someday I guess we’ll need to do that.
I’ve been so focused on the process I haven’t been able to envision what comes next. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still incredibly cautious about this whole venture. Incredibly. But for a few minutes here and there, I’ve been able to imagine a time beyond this one. And it felt good.
Please, universe, don’t let this all crumble away.
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This is for keeps.
ReplyDeleteIt's looking good, cass no doubt about it. But I'm sure it won't feel completely sure for a while yet.
ReplyDeleteI won't tell you not to worry, because I know that is impossible, but I really hope you have more moments, like the one you decribed, where you can imagine this working out. We are all think of you and will be waiting for Friday!
ReplyDeleteCrossing fingers, toes, my eyes if Icould and braiding my hair that this keeps on keeping on.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and wishing you the best.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the darker lines. So happy for you.
ReplyDeleteI'm convinced you're deleting my comments. I swear I offered to chip in on the FRED's so I didn't have to wait until Friday. Glad you took it upon yourself to end my misery. Huge congratulations!
I really hope this is it for you!
ReplyDeleteOk, I made sure to get my computer put back together in time for your news today, so I'm all set!
ReplyDeleteIt sure is looking good, Cass!