Conundrum

I haven't written about it because I don't really know what to say, but we're in a bit of flux around here, with J's career change and return to school and my return to work and the kids at school (yes, since September - none of this is news at this point, I know). I would have thought the flux would have subsided by now, but we have yet to fully settle into a routine (a side effect of 2.5 year olds and changing semester schedules, I think) and we're already caught up in the flux about next year -- J is applying to schools (he's doing some general stuff now, but will need to transfer to finish up this degree change) and one possibility involves a move 3 hours away to City Where I Grew Up, but meanwhile, and this is what I'm on about today, we have to make decisions about the kids and preschool and somehow some of this ties in to decisions about Kindergarten and I know they're getting older but still, they're just 2 and a half. And then I spin myself into a tizzy and have to catch my breath. So, some points:

1. We're taking the kids for developmental evals at the end of the month, because they're free and because B is a bit, um, atypical in some of his social development. The guest speakers at my moms of twins club meeting this month were a language specialist and an occupational therapist, and based on some things they said and the experiences of another mom in the club, it sounds like B might have some sensory integration issues and we could be doing more to help him manage them. So that's thing #1.

2. I mentioned the above to the preschool teacher, who has noted B's behavior in the past, and she was thrilled that we were getting him evaluated and went on about her own son's experiences with OT and how it helped. I knew there were some similarities, but I think she's also seeing B through the lens of her experience with her son, which is both useful and not.

3. It's summer enrollment time at the school, and we may try separating the kids - just for the summer - to see how that works. B would remain with the younger 2s in their current class, and M would move to the next oldest class. They'd each still have some kids they already know in the class, and some new. They'd also still have a lot of together time since the two classes overlap on their outdoor time. Not sure yet what we'd do for fall - this is a whole huge issue that has a bit to do with whether we're expecting them to start kindergarten (which I keep starting to type as preschool because I'm not even familiar with the K word!) at a young age 5 (they have a late-July birthday) or at a young age 6. The preschool has 4 classes, and the last functions as a pre-K, so there's a desire to make sure they get that experience at the right point. Because it's a small school, our only option for keeping them separated in the Fall would be for B to move to M's summer class and M to move to the next class (the 3rd "level", though not a full year's leap in age) - legitimate from an age perspective, but potentially setting them up to be in different grades, which is not something I want to consider. Or they spend the summer separate but then end up in the same class again come Fall.

I can't believe that I have to start thinking about their Kindergarten readiness at this point, and I can't even do that obsessive thing where I start researching the local schools because even if we stay where we are for J's next round of schooling, chances are VERY high that we'd be moving before Kindergarten anyway. And if we're going to keep the kids together, which way do we go -- do we start them early because M would likely be ready at 5 or wait to be sure B is ready at 6? (Probably the latter, but both are strong cognitively and I don't want them to be bored or not sufficiently challenged because we're judging their 5 year old selves at age 2. If that makes sense.)

And of course, the school needs to know - probably today - how we want to handle summer enrollments.

Gah. Once I start writing it out, it seems to get more complicated. And while my local moms of twins club is nice, we seem to lose members as their kids reach school age, so I don't have a lot of any personal reference points on things like separating twins or navigating gender-related developmental differences. Our details are specific, but the general questions shouldn't be unique. And yet, I'm feeling like I don't have any models for this. Anyone?

On Weaning

For the record, because not enough people talk about this stuff...

I nursed M & B until they were 28 months old. I had thought I'd try for a year, or maybe 18 months, but they really loved to nurse, and it was one of the few times when I could snuggle with both of them and just have a moment of relative peace and quiet. Except for the times they were busy hitting each other or putting their hands on the other kid's side. In the end, I had a business trip as a deadline - though as we were weaning I thought it was entirely possible that they'd make it through my trip and then go right back to nursing.

To wean, I tried cutting out feedings when I could - getting up in the morning and going straight to a cup of milk or breakfast at the table, for example. I also started limiting the time we nursed - agreeing to nurse for the count of 10, for example, or for just 2 minutes. Basically, I started putting limits on the nursing as a way to take back some control.

After we weaned, there were still a couple of times that B asked to nurse, and I was generally able to just offer him a cup of milk instead. One time after my business trip he was insistent, so I finally agreed to let him nurse "for the count of two". He got face to face with my boob, then... nothing. He seemed stumped about what to do next. I guess he forgot how. :) That's when I knew we were really truly done.

Now I need to go bra shopping!

Facebook Etiquette

Okay. I'm over it. Thanks for lending a virtual ear to my sniveling. Today is marginally better, and so I'm just moving on from the angst-ridden to the trivial...

Etiquette Question

If you get a friend request on Facebook from someone you don't immediately recognize, do you:

a) Send them a message asking how you know them
b) Google, baby, G-O-O-G-L-E
c) Reread your high school journal for a reminder
d) Ignore the request indefinitely

Does it change things if you think you might have hooked up with them once, briefly?

Cass and the Terrible Awful No-Good Except-for-that-One-Shining Moment Day

Edited to add: I tried to post this last night, and just as I was finishing up, the battery on my laptop died. It's supposed to give me a 2 minute warning, so I can walk the ten feet to the plug, but apparently not. Went with the rest of the day, I suppose. So, this is yesterday's thoughtstream. Let's see how things go today...

I was looking forward to today, to watching the door open on a new era. To watching the door close, none too gently, on the last 8 years. But life happens, and today was just one of those sucky days. And now I'm just waiting for the *&$^@% day to be over. And that pisses me off.

Item the first. Somehow we forgot about the whole time-difference, East-coast/West-coast thing, and so my answer to "Where were you when Obama became President?" is "I don't know. Maybe changing a diaper? Probably poopy." Bah. When I realized, I sat down and cried. I know in the grand scheme of life, it's not a huge deal, but I really wanted to pause for a minute and just watch. And instead I. Missed. It. And the news coverage seemed lame in comparison.

Item the second. Sick kids. Feeling well enough to be bouncing off the walls and driving me bonkers, but M had a fever last night and school rules are 24 hours fever-free, so... (I do sometimes take one kid and keep one home, but B seemed a bit under, and we just decided to keep them both home.) J was going to stay home with them, and I was set to go to work when..

Item the third. Disaster on the computing front. Catastrophic issue with all the websites we run (several, including one that's the public information for a community group in the midst of a fundraising campaign, like, NOW). So, J got sucked into rebuilding the site and the donation form, and also little things like recreating our email addresses. Good times. Also time-consuming times, so I ended up taking a sick day.

Item the fourth. Good news, this one - my neighbor just had a baby. This morning. She was scheduled to be induced today, but her water broke in the middle of the night and they had a baby before we had a new president, even once you adjust the time zones. Sounds crazy fast to me, but what do I know? Bummer part of this is that I had grand plans for organizing meals for them, and balloons for when they come home, and I just can't get anything else together right now. Not a major issue, just one more thing.

Item the fifth. Did I mention the catastrophic computer failure was not our fault and totally avoidable? Yeah. We've had great experiences with our web hosting company until this blip, but it's not a minor blip. One of the sites? Our (family) baby blog and all of the pictures of the kids we've ever posted. The pictures themselves are backed up, but I'm not sure what it'll take to get them online again. Reminds me that I don't love having everything digital and really need to make printed albums for the kids. How else am I going to pull out their embarrassing naked baby pictures to show their prom dates?

Item the sixth. I don't even understand my numbering scheme here.

7. My kids nap fine at school, but they will not nap in their beds (mattresses on the floor) at home. It worked for about a week but now? No. Today after we gave up on bedroom napping, I took them for a drive to get them to sleep, then parked in the driveway

I just realized it's well after midnight, even on west coast time, so I'm going to put this *&^#%@$ day to rest now. I'm hoping tomorrow is the day I can revel in the hope and optimism that seemed to be the focus of all the Facebook status updates today.

various and sundry

I have a bunch of muckity muck floating around in my head - the typical 2.5 year old twin chaos, sleep suckage, behavior (theirs and mine) and much more - but it's been a while, and I don't want to launch right in to the suckfest as if that's all there is. So instead, I bring you the following:

• Both kids, but especially M, sometimes say they don't like Daddy because he has a beard. And they like me because I don't. Sometimes they LIKE the beard, though.
  
• Also, the thing over his lip is called a "mus-lip"
  
• M calls bicycles "bike-a-cils"
• M has started asking questions, with a slight up-lilt at the end

Back to school today after two weeks of vacation, including a trip to snowed-in Seattle, a dearth of naps, and a mouse in the house. I've never been so excited for a vacation to end.