neverending cycle

la gringa said somethng recently about thinking in cycles instead of months. I think this may be why I’m in a funk right now - this is a neverending cycle. I’m not just on hold for the appointment with the new doctor, I’m on hold for any reminder that there are cycles by which I could measure time. I’m on CD 61 and counting, with almost a month to go before my first appointment at the new clinic. I have an old prescription for Provera, but I don’t want to use it because I want the new doctor to see how ridiculously pathetic my cycles are. That’s not totally sick, is it?

It just gets better and better, though. I just got off the phone with the receptionist at the new clinic. Apparently, my first appointment is not with the RE, but with a nurse practitioner. So, there’s still no end in sight to the waiting period.

This is so frustrating and seems ridiculous. The initial visit is where they’ll do a pap (I already had one scheduled for next week, but if they’re going to do one anyway, then I don’t need TWO) and order bloodwork and a semen analysis. Except that my GP already ran a ton of bloodwork in preparation, and J has had THREE SA’s in the past 6 months. Granted, I haven’t had CD3 bloodwork in a long time - but this is partially because I haven’t had a CD3 in a long time! So, I’ll go in for this visit (trying not to be the surly patient they come to hate, but rather the well-informed patient they respect) and get my pap, and probably an ultrasound, and an order for some bloodwork. Then, and only then, will I be able to get an appointment with an actual RE. Apparently my clear lack of ovulation and two failed Clomid cycles don’t mean I get to jump right in.

Unless I try tactics for skipping the NP. J suggested calling to speak with the NP, and explaining that I’m transferring from another RE and so I’m not totally new to all this. The receptionist said I could check to see if there had been any cancellations to move up that first visit. Personally, I’m thinking hibernation sounds really good right now. Can’t I just go to sleep and wake up when I can actually see a medical practitioner who will help me? But then, that might leave me asleep for years.

Is this what it’s like in the UK or other state-managed health systems? I vent and complain because it’s much worse with the massive HMO than it was with the regular private insurance company, but maybe this is just a field of daisies in comparison. If so, I’m sorry for whining. Well, maybe not. But I’ll make room in my cave if you want to hibernate with me.