To make a short story long

Today’s visit with the NP was mostly uneventful. Before I got to see her, the other nurse did the weighing/blood pressure stuff and asked the date of my LMP. And when I said 3 months, she made me take a pregnancy test. Right. Because I wasn’t there for the fertility clinic or anything. (Then again, this is the same place that suggested in the orientation class that some people just needed to have better timing and then lie there for 20 minutes - as if that was a new breakthrough in treatment technology. I guess these are the same people who might not know that they actually did get pregnant while waiting for their fertility appointment.)

But I digress. After the inane test, and the obligatory disrobing and wrapping myself in the paper bolero vest and paper sheet (in case I didn’t already feel like a cog in the machine) we sat around and waited for the NP. And may I just say that I supremely dislike being forced to disrobe and sit in a freezing room to have my nether regions prodded without having previously met the prodder. It’s one thing if they’re just wanding me, but this was a full-on pap and breast exam, and I kind of wanted to exchange pleasantries first, or at least have her see the cute outfit I was wearing. (Okay, nothing really cute, but they were clothes, and they were mine, and that’s got to be good enough.) And for an uneventful story, this is sure taking a long time to tell. Sorry about that.

Anyway - pap, breast exam, and a quick ride on the wand. And J was there for the whole thing, which might have been nice, but was mostly kind of weird. He’s been in the room for an u/s before, just not the more mundane pap and prodding. Add to that her lecture about weight (”I suggest you identify your weakness and then see if you can cut it in half” - to which I replied, “I’ve already given up caffeine, chocolate, sugar, flour, and dairy.” Do you want me to halve my decaf green tea consumption? Yeah, I’m fat, but I’m already trying my best to change that) and I was in a mighty good mood by the end of it. But J was very supportive - he kept trying to maintain contact by touching me on the shoulder or back, which was nice except that with all the other touching that was going on, it was too much and so I kept shaking him off. Next time I think we’ll try some simple hand holding. Also, next time I’ll probably be wearing a shirt, which will help me feel slightly more human. (Especially if it’s this shirt. Or maybe one of these.)

So, the details. My lining is thin, despite the 3 month hiatus my period has taken. Ovaries are fairly normal, with many small cysts, as expected. J’s last SA showed low volume, low count, and low motility, so we’re looking at an IUI almost for sure. And I had to have more blood drawn before we could meet with the RE. No Provera for now - they just ran CD3 and CD21 tests on whatever day it is today (88, but who’s counting?) and will wait to force a visit from the lovely AF until we’re ready to cycle. Which I guess means less waiting when that time finally arrives.

On the plus side, I actually have an appointment to meet with the doctor, who actually is an RE (not all of the doctors in the clinic are). And we already did the last of our bloodwork (another icky experience that I’m trying to let settle before I rant about it here). And so that’s it for now.

I’m off to enjoy a mindless hour of television and a glass of wine. Or maybe an something a little fancier.