Sunday, May 08, 2005

M-Day

My period started yesterday. Very heavy. Making sure I notice its presence. I had expected it today, since that’s the kind of irony the universe likes to dole out, but I guess keeping me off guard is also fun.

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A couple of years ago, my mom found herself working in the kitchen on Mother’s Day while a bunch of non-moms stood around chit chatting and doing nothing to help. (Extended families - got to love them.) So she decided that the new tradition was that the non-moms should do the work on Mother’s Day - plan the meal, set up, clean up, etc. J has had to work on two of the past three Mother’s Days, and my uncles are somewhat inept in the kitchen, so this has often meant that I do most of the work on Mother’s Day. (And I’ve had the swollen feet and backache to prove it.)

Last year, we had just started trying in earnest, and while I knew by that point that it was going to be a bumpy road, I somehow thought that this year would be the first year that I’d spend Mother’s Day sitting, with my feet up. But no, not so much. I can’t be the worker bee again when I should be sitting in the mommy-camp. I just can’t do it.

So, we’re skipping Mother’s Day this year. We’ve been up visiting various segments of my family for the past two weekends anyway, and next weekend both moms are going to be here (but that’s another fun story) so this weekend we’re staying home. It’s nice to be able to blame it on scheduling, when my main motivation in skipping Mother’s Day is just to skip Mother’s Day.

One good thing has come of this: my mother called yesterday. She had a revelation that this might be part of why we weren’t coming and she called to apologise for setting up this scenario in the first place. Which is one of the best, most understanding gestures she’s been able to offer. Not that she’s not trying. But it seemed for a minute there that she really got it. (And I totally don’t blame her - I think if it works the concept that the moms get to take the day off is a nice one. I just can’t be a part of it right now.)

4 comments:

  1. I'm so glad that you've decided to do the best thing for you today and even happier that your mother understands. Have a wonderful day.

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  2. Glad you are taking care of you today. And damn the hag! ;o)

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  3. That's so sweet that she got it. I wish more people could get it like that without prompting. So sorry the ironic universe got you.

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  4. I find the mother situation a difficult one too. Mine, like yours, tries very hard to be supportive and understanding but she almost inevitably ends up saying just the wrong thing. I'm glad your mom had a moment of insight. xoxoxo

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