Friday, July 15, 2005

the meeting (a love note)

I had a grin on my face for the entire day - in anticipation of meeting Bugs, the entire time we were hanging out and taking San Francisco (or at least the park) by storm, and then into the night, remembering the fun. It’s not that we did anything particularly spectacular, though we certainly had a good time. It’s more that we didn’t do anything spectacular. That sitting and talking and being completely open was so comfortable and natural and completely unremarkable. It was only afterwards that I realized how momentous that was. How I didn’t feel alone. How I felt so understood. So comfortable.

So yes, the meet with Ms. Bugs (and a later meet with the hubbies along, too) was wonderful. She’s funny and poised and snarky and beautiful and a great tour guide and listener. She and her hubs are adorable together - they complement each other so very nicely. I can’t possibly capture how fanstastic it all was.

She picked me up at the hotel. She said “nice to meet you” and I thought “nice to see you again” as if we’d hung out before. We had, you know. In the computer. We drove around and talked and went to the park and talked and sat on a bench and talked. Someplace in there we laughed. A lot. There was a funny plant, and there were some student filmmakers taking themselves very seriously (much to our amusement), and there were kids in strollers (of course), and there were turtles swimming in a pond. And we said the words vagina, and cervix, and ovary, and we said them loudly and without hesitation. Which is to say, it was a good day. And then we got to repeat it with the guys along, and that was equally fantastic. It was, of course, the highlight of the trip for me.

I think the couples outing was also really important for J. Here we were having lunch with another couple dealing with infertility, and being able to talk about it all together, even a little bit. I get tons of support from my friends in the computer. I know I’m not alone. But I don’t think he gets that same kind of support, and mostly it seems like he doesn’t need it. But of course he does, and even though they didn’t have some deep heart-to-heart, I think just being around another guy in a similar situation and having the topic be open and casual was all very good. For all of us.

1 comment:

  1. Me, too! Me, too! It was like I'd known you for years, and things just started spilling out of me, even though I'm usually rather painfully shy.

    I was so blown away by how odd it must have felt for our husbands to be talking about it in the open with someone who understood, and yet how completely unfazed they both seemed.

    Can't wait to see you guys again.