Unlocking the door

I had been feeling a bit dissatisfied with my acupuncturist. I chose this office because several of the practitioners specialize in fertility, plus two (includimg the one I see) are on the faculty of the local acupuncture school, which I took as an extra recommendation. But I’m not sure I like them all that much. I hear read about other people’s experiences with acupuncturists, and it sounded like some are stronger in the interpersonal than others. (And then there are the clueless ones, like Michael.)

My acupuncturist has an okay bedside manner, I guess. I’m not sure she really gets the whole infertility thing. But she earned some brownie points recently by keeping up on the fertility journals and giving me a supplement (N-acetyl-cysteine) that was shown to be useful in Clomid-resistant PCOSers. So I decided to stick with her a bit longer.

She had something new for me yesterday - instead of listening to ethereal music and then falling asleep as i usually do, she had a new CD - Earth Mama Fertility. (The beginning of the CD cautioned “Please do not listen to this meditation while driving” and then went on to have you close your eyes. Um, yeah, I guess you need to be warned about that.)

I’m not opposed to guided meditation, though I was a bit turned off already just looking at the title of the CD. But I figured I’d give it a shot. The narrator had a fairly soothing, not too irritating voice, and the beginning was good - had me thinking about a time when J and I were first in love, and then about a time when we knew we wanted to start a family together someday. But then there was this whole section about unlocking and opening up the cervix (she was going on about the door to the womb, but I know my body, and that’s my cervix). Something about the cervix being closed to conceiving for so many years that it now needs to be welcomed to open. It’s true, my cervix is really closed. That’s why the damn HSG hurt so much.

I also slept through part of it, which I felt bad about at the time because I was the first to listen to the CD and give feedback, but I guess it speaks to the non-irritating voice if nothing else. Back to music for me next time, though.