Sometimes I think this whole process would be easier if I were more complacent, less involved, more docile, less confrontational. Generally, I pride myself on the research I do, the information I gather, and the questions I ask. But sometimes I think it would be easier to be the kind of person who just trusts the doctors and doesn’t question or challenge.
Okay, maybe not.
Except for today, when I got all worked up about the progesterone test I’m supposed to have one week post-IUI/ovulation, which would be tomorrow. The thing is, Evil HMO often takes several days to get lab results back (they often send my blood to another city for processing!). So if I get the test done tomorrow, they might not have the results before the clinic closes on Friday. This wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t know that there are two reasons to check progesterone - to see that I ovulated, and to make sure that the levels are high enough to actually be useful. It’s the second point that concerns me. If I were to need progesterone supplementation, as I know many people do, and they didn’t get the results until Monday, then I couldn’t start that until Monday.
I’m having a weird visit with Hope. On the one hand, I’m hopeful that it would even matter that my progesterone levels were satisfactory, therefore I’m depressed at the possibility that there would be a need for supplementation that we wouldn’t know about until Monday.
Of course, I called the clinic - they close early on Wednesdays, so I asked the receptionist to check with the RE (or one of the nurses) to see if there was any point in my getting the progesterone test run today instead of tomorrow, and now that it’s several hours past closing time, no one has called me back. So I’ll just do it tomorrow (early, of course, in case that helps things at all).
See? This would be so much easier if I didn’t think the test results mattered so much (or so promptly). And maybe I should pretend I’m one of those people who just trusts the doctors, since if it were really a problem they would have (or could have) told me to take the test a different day. Maybe the results will come back in plenty of time, or they'll be normal. (Me, with normal test results? That would be cause for celebration!)
So maybe it’s all fine.
It would be for the docile, complacent me.